I’ve been playing Spore lately, and came across a curious problem. Here it is in story form.
“Hello Omnipotent! You look fabulous as always…” After hearing it basically word-for-word a thousand times, the compliment wore thin.
“Yes, thank you. I’ve come to discuss diplomatic matters,” said the Suna pilot.
The Green Empire’s representative’s tinny voice continued. “Anything! Name it.”
“Well, as you know, we’ve been in conflict with the Notcute for some time now. It’s usually no trouble chipping away at their dozens of T0 planets. But there’s a particular planet which we’ve lost three spaceships to. Not by any virtue of their defenses, of course. For some reason, all the ship’s computers cease function when we near it. Thyragnis, it’s called.”
“Very curious! What would like us to do?”
“We’d like you to attack that planet, and capture it. And keep it. We don’t want it.”
“We’re big fans of disorder! We’ll do it. We need 52000 dollars.”
But Omnipotent had 99999999 dollars on board that he preferred to bask in a little while longer. “How about I just give you this one purple spice and call it good?”
“Done!” Suckers, thought the Green Empire.
Green was oblivious to the Suna’s obvious goal to take possession of the entire galaxy, or at least one arm of it. The two Empires were about the only ones left in the local bubble. The next day, a Suna ship arrived as close to Thyragnis as possible and launched their communicator.
“Hello Omnipotent! You look fabulous as always…”
“Yes yes, I was wondering if you’d like to set up a trade route.”
“Would we ever!”
And in no time, the Suna bought the planet for a nice price of 3000000.
Then they promptly began to clean the Green empire off the map. The Green Empire still happily considered them allies, even after they bombed their fourth planet. But then after the humor wore off they retaliated.
“Omnipotent!” yelled another Suna on board. “They’re attacking!”
“It’s just pirates again. It’s always pirates. You know, why don’t they just say, ‘It’s pirates – don’t worry about it’? And don’t get me started on those blasted ecodisasters.”
“No, this one’s not pirates. I swear. It’s the Green.”
“Well, by the time they take one of our planets, we’ll have taken five of theirs.”
“They’re about to take Thyragnis.”
And they did. Even though the Suna now owned every other system, The Green empire had a tight hold on Thyragnis, and the Suna could do nothing about it. Their onboard computers scrambled on each attempt to approach the planet.
“Crocodilus, I’d like you to attack someone for me…”
This planet did indeed crash the game every time. Buying Thyragnis solved the problem, and they didn’t really make an attempt to get it back, but I thought it would have been a real cunning trick on the part of the developers if they did.